Fairytale Part 8 - To Stepmother's house we go

(Part 7)

Fred had arrived at the cottage in the woods well before Red, as was his plan. Dear reader, if you don't remember, I shall forthwith provide a brief explanation. He had met Red earlier that day, and had discovered to his chagrin that she was headed for the cabin. He had read his brother's The Prince's Deeply, and understood that Jack the Huntsman was headed to the cabin. Knowing nothing good could come from it, he had decided to take matters into his own paw.

Finding the stepmother not at home, he considered his next possible course of action. Knowing Jack, he assumed the huntsman would arrive at the cabin before Red. Therefore, he determined to lie in wait for Jack, and nab him when he arrived. But where was he to wait? In the closet? No! He would disguise himself as the stepmother, and await Jack's arrival to surprise him.

Grimm at the prospect before him, he donned a bonnet and apron, and laid in the bed, with the covers pulled up to his chin. He grabbed a spare pair of glasses lying on the lamp stand, and awaited the huntsman's arrival.

Luck was against Fred. Red arrived first, as Jack had gone off on a wild goose chase to find a butterfly. She knocked on the door.

Not knowing who it was, Fred answered. "Who is it?"

"It's me, stepmother. Red." At which point Fred found himself in a quandary. 

"Er, hello, er, um, Red. Good to see you." Fred spoke with as much of a falsetto as possible.

"Stepmother, I've come to help you. I read the Prince's Deeply and found out that you are a wanted queen. Therefore, I'm here to help you escape." As she had been saying this, she had opened the door, and began making her way to the bedroom. She paused after she opened the door, and stood gaping at the site before her.

Josh, what happened to Jack?

I'm getting there. 

Jack had finished his goose chase. He was back on the track of a giant beast, the likes of which were exceptional for evil monsters. He had found the wolf tracks some time back, and to his dismay found smaller footprints along side.

"I hope the little girl has come to no harm." He said thoughtfully. With his axe ever-shouldered, he proceeded cautiously. He was, to say the least, surprised to find the wolf tracks led to a summer hunting lodge.  Suspicious, he crept up to a window, where he heard voices. He peeked inside, and found Rose Red the Princess conversing with his quarry the wolf! (He was pleasantly surprised to find out the wolf talked). He listened intently to the conversation.

"My, what big ears you have Stepmother." Rose was saying. "And what large eyes! I never knew you had glasses." Instantly, Jack knew the wolf's ploy. The wolf was out to get Rose! He could not let that happen to the princess, banished though she be. He stood up, and charged straight through the wall. After bouncing back on the first attempt, he was successful on the second in creating a gaping hole and a splitting headache. 

"I've got you now, Beast!!!" He screamed, and charged at the bedridden wolf.

Fred realized his plan was quickly coming to fruition, and was swinging an axe to boot. He therefore flung himself out of bed, and lopped out of the room. Jack the huntsman continued to follow him. Rose fainted.

After some time, Fred decided it was time to lose the huntsman. They were well clear of the cabin, and he was sure Red had been able to escape unharmed. He therefore upped his pace, and in a short instant was out of Jack's site.

Not one to be outdone, Jack pulled out his communication horn. He saw a nearby signal reception tower, and promptly began blowing a distress call. Due to the proximity to the reception tower, the horn blast was carried very quickly to the castle, where the six other brothers were waiting. 

Alexander, the newly dubbed chief communications officer, listened in."Wolf escaped stop nearby the third com tower stop heading south stop bring pizza when you come stop. Right, brothers, the beast has escaped Jack. He's near the south com tower, heading third, whatever that means." Quickly consulting a map, the brothers armed themselves and dashed out.

Fred found himself suddenly in a clearing, across which stood a castle. He recognized this castle, as it was the one he had lived in during his human years. Seeing the gates wide open, he dashed for them, and swung them shut with a thud.

Ben, do you think they realize that this is the same castle that the brother dwarves left just 2 minutes and 13 seconds beforehand?

I don't know Josh. Perhaps we should just let them figure it out for themselves.

Okay...oh, by the way, tag, your it!

My turn again!

Fairytale -Part VI

(To read part Part 5...you know the drill)

Ben...dreadful news.

What, Josh?!?

Our notes, all of them, were burned...to a crisp. 

What! How?

Er...I believe it was because "certain persons" needed kindling to roast marshmallows. Regardless, I think the next best is to interview those who were involved with the story. From there, I think we can formulate a near accurate account of this history.

By all means, proceed.

As I heard it from Anaxandrides the Pig (who lives out in the sticks), who heard it from the Granny of Clogged Shoes, who heard it from a little bird, who heard it from the Prince in the Well, the Queen was not long in following her stepdaughters. This is where accounts differ. One hand says that a technicality in the guide book (held by the HR manager) required the queen to order the princess's heart, and if she didn't, then she must resign her position. The other hand says (whoever owns these hands must be an ambidextrous ventriloquist) that the queen self-banished herself, out of remorse for having ordered her stepdaughters to be banished. Regardless, she found herself ousted, and wandering in the woods, seeking shelter.

I will now take a quote from the Prince's Deeply, dated at some later time. "Lo and behold, the queen did thence stumble and struggle through a substantial mass of underbrush in the woods. The directions given by her one-time huntsman, Zacchaeus (by name) did bid her take the forest path to a small hunting cabin located not far in the woods. She was, nevertheless, confused, as she did not realize that forests needed paths, and thus found herself tramping through what she considered to be the path taken by the forest. This, assuredly, led her far from her desired path."

I was briefly able to interview a close associate of the dwarf Zacchaeus. By this associate's account (he wished to remain anonymous), Zacchaeus returned to the castle with happy heart, knowing his job was completed. However, upon entering the gatehouse, he passed the HR manager.

"Hey Napoleon." He began, but the HR manager stopped him.

"Huntsman, I've come to an astounding realization. The vacancy ensued by the queen's death" (at this point one of Zacchaeus's eyebrows shot up) "results in a shift of command. By studying this flowchart, " he said, opening the ever-present guide-book. "I've come to the conclusion that her nearest henchman is to assume command. That would be you." He slammed the book shut with a thud. "Congratulations. We can sign the contract later. As for now, what is your first act of office?"

It took a full 17 minutes and 23 seconds for Zacchaeus to wake up from his fainted state (it was later found that he had forgotten to drink 4 cups of coffee that morning, resulting in a massive headache that literally laid him flat). His brothers were gathered around, and they quickly held a consultation, the primary question of which was "What are bad guys supposed to do?" (for you remember that it is an evil castle for which they worked).

Dorky, ironically, had the best idea. "A castle is not bad unless some factor of fear is present. Therefore, I suggest we find for ourselves a beast of enormous proportions. Then we can terrorize the surroundings."

"What sort of beast?" Rumplestiltskin asked.

"A wolf. A wolf would be perfect for our abode!" Leper Khan exclaimed. "Ferocious, stupid, and easy to catch!"

"How is a wolf easy to catch?" Jack asked.

"Easy. We know the perfect bait. Two pigs live in two houses deep in the woods. To there, a wolf is sure to go a-huffing and a-puffing. We will therefore lie in wait for said beast, and capture it, and bring it to our castle!"

It was very quickly agreed that this was the course of action to take. Jack was nominated to go and scout around to see if a wolf even be in the area.

At this point, Ben, my contact started expounding on the Adventures of Blueberry Dorsal, a distant relative of Tom Sawyer. 

That'll do. We'll continue the story next time. But seriously Josh, who burned our notes?

Well. I'll give you a clue: the person has a....

Stage-Fright

The silence was broken right after his name,

A thunderous roar began to reign.

He straightened his tie, and he cleared his throat

And stepped out to wait for the noise to wane.

His face was calm and steady yet

His heart was beating a hum.

The sea of people did stretch so far!

It seemed the world for him had come!

When all was quiet, he smiled to all

His hands were beginning their share,

But halted midway unto their spot,

His mind was now an empty chair!

He scrambled to think of "from-before"

But nary a word could he recall

He stared around to search for clues,

But stared around into the hall.

Fifteen minutes did thus go by

As he attempted to recite.

Alas the microphone had won,

The many ills from stage-fright!

He then bowed, and walked off stage

And as soon as he had left,

His memory did kick back in, 

That which by he was bereft.

He paused a moment to consider

Then shook his head as No,

He could return, to speak again,

But was not sure his mind would go.

Fairytale Part 4 - Orders

(See here for part 3)

The Queen had just put down "The Prince's Deeply" as Yakovarol proudly marched in. 

"Huntsman," she began, for she never could get the new employee's name right. "I've just finished reading a very interesting fact." She stood and began to pace. "It concerns my stepdaughter, Snow White. According to the Prince in the Well, my dearly lost froggy-prince hero, she has surpassed me in beauty. This cannot be. The Human Resources manager, who appears to be very knowledgeable in all matters, assures me that since I am her stepmother, I must be more beautiful. As this is apparently not the case, he informs me that I must have Snow White driven from the castle." Here she paused, and turned to Yakovarol, who stood quietly confused at attention. "Huntsman, what are your thoughts right now?"

Yakovarol was about to answer "I've something stuck in my tooth" when a question plopped itself in his head. "Your majesty, if Snow White goes, Rose Red, her sister, is sure to follow. One cannot be separated from the other. What of this?"

"Very good point, my huntsman." The queen for a moment thought, then rang a bell. In came Napoleon D.,  the Human Resources manager. "Napoleon, Rose Red will not abide here if Snow White departs. What does the book say?"

Napoleon reached into his carpet bag-like pocket, and drew forth a book, whose title Yakovarol knew to be "How to Run an Evil Castle for Dummies." He thumbed around for a moment before responding. "My queen, it appears that she shall then also be driven from the place."

The queen was obviously very touched by this, for she loved her stepdaughters rather dearly. However, she knew that her position, as described by Napoleon, dictated her to behave in certain ways. She could not be benevolent and run an evil castle, could she? And she still had three years left on her employment contract. "Very well. Huntsman, may you please escort the princesses out of the castle. Don't forget to give them enough food and resources to get as far as the magical woods."


Yakovarol bowed deeply, and departed. He was unsure of how to proceed, so he sought the assistance of the second eldest brother, Leper Khan (You see, many years before, Khan had gotten leprosy, but this version of the disease primarily affected his follicles, and resulted in his hair turning completely red. Thereafter, he was known as Leper Khan). After a brief consultation, the two brothers tramped to the princesses' room, and hesitatingly knocked on the door. Rose Red answered the door.

Agape

I've recently completed a Bible study on the Fruits of the Spirit. We went through each characteristic, and spent an entire study on each word. Then we tried to piece together what characteristics "build" on others, and how this is related to that. It was seen rather early on that Love is indeed the fundamental characteristic of the Christian faith. Passages such as 1 Corinthians 13 and Matthew 22.37-40 confirm this. All the fruits of the Spirit are linked to love, and without love they crumble. So what is this love?

The specific Greek word is "ἀγάπη" (or "agapē" for those of you who don't read Greek). The beauty of the Greek language is that there are four words with different aspects of the meaning of the word love. In the New Testament, two, agape and philos/phileo, are predominantly used. Agape means "sacrificial love" (as determined by the said Bible study), and phileo emphasizes emotional fondness. Essentially, agape is the giving of yourself even if it means harm to yourself. You will put yourself in "dangerous situations" for the other person, regardless of what it costs you, or whether they'll thank you for it. Agape-love is a choice.

Consider Philippians 2.5-11 (as translated by J B Phillips) - "Let Christ Himself be your example as to what your attitude should be. For He, who had always been God by nature, did not cling to His prerogatives as God's equal, but stripped Himself of all privilege by consenting to be a slave by nature and being born as mortal man. And, having become man, He humbled Himself by living a life of utter obedience, even to the extent of dying, and the death He died was the death of a common criminal. That is why God has now lifted Him so high, and has given Him the name beyond all names, so that at the name of Jesus "every knee shall bow", whether in Heaven or earth or under the earth. And that is why, in the end, "every tongue shall confess" that Jesus Christ is the Lord, to the glory of God the Father."

This is agape-love "at its best." God became man, so humbling considering our state, and lowered Himself to the humblest of mankind, dying the death of a common thief. And why? For a stubborn race. But God so loved us...me, you, all...that He considered it worthwhile for His Son to die, pay our penalty, so that we could live eternally with Him. "What wondrous love is this, oh my soul!"

As you celebrate Christmas, please do consider that God humbled Himself for YOU! (Not only that, but He also humbled Himself for all your siblings, cousins, parents, friends, etc. If God humbled Himself for them, how should you, a mortal man, treat them?)

Immanuel - God With Us

The song that ended last week's post spoke of a great God who came to earth to save created man. No where else do you see that. If you look at the fantastical gods of the Greeks and Romans and other early civilisations, never do the gods show unbound love toward mortal man. Never do you see the gods sacrifice themselves for an erroneous man. You do see the gods passing (often times skewed) judgement on man. In essence, all gods of past civilisations had very man-like characteristics, and never would man show unbounded, sacrificial love. Hence, the beautiful history of the Creator-God weaving His redemption plan for fallen man stands out. 

"Light of the world/ You stepped out into darkness/ opened my eyes, let me see/ beauty that made this heart adore You/ hope of a life spent with You...King of all days/ oh so highly exalted/ glorious in heaven above/ humbly You came to the earth You created/ all for love's sake became poor...I'll never know how much it cost/ to see my sin upon that cross..."*

Have you tried to fathom the enormity of God's sacrifice? How about the fact that the shepherds, the dirtiest, grimiest workers, were with in a short, measurable distance of the God of glory? As the lyrics of the previous post's last song goes "...His infant eyes have seen the dawn of time...His ears have heard an angel's symphony, but still Mary had to rock her Savior to sleep."

Here are two more Christmas songs, both sung by Michael Card. "Immanuel," and "Joseph's Song." I highly recommend them.

*Here I am to Worship

It's Christmas!

This is usually the day when I say "see here for the continuation of the story." However, that is not to be this week. My cohort, Ben, has been rather busy as of late, and has not gotten a new part of the story out. I shall therefore proceed to a regular post, in hopes that he gets his pen together...figuratively speaking, of course.

Here's to Christmas traditions! We (try) to set aside a night wherein all members of the Coder Clan may participate in a family-wide evening of decorating (specifically) the tree and (non-specifically) the house for Christmas. With Christmas CDs that we've grown up on playing in the background, and handling decade old decorations, this evening is a perfect way to reminisce of "the old days" (when we were younger - quite a paradoxical statement). Nonetheless, all enjoy it, and sometimes it can get crazy - it all depends on the song currently playing and how much chocolate had been consumed by that point.

The decorated Christmas tree

The inset picture is of these two many years ago

I tried a new version of photobombing - a selfie-bombed photo

The twins being twin-like

A similar photobombing stunt. 

However, let's not forget why the season is celebrated. Indeed, it would be very poor of us to get so caught up in fun activities and traditions to forget what Christmas is really all about. Over two millennium ago, the God of the universe was wrapped in a piece of cloth, a midst the cows and sheep of His creation.

The following two Christmas songs are very good, hence why I'm showing them. Take the time to not only listen to them, but consider their words and meaning.

Please don't lose size of God's love.

Merry Christmas!!!